Waiting is a Cruel Killer

if only I can shout out loud what's in my mind right now, maybe it can lessen the stress.. haha.. all of sudden kau nak stress je manjang kan hemiza.. hurmmm.. I'm thinking about something that actually cannot immerse in the term " go with the flow". this is so serious, life or death. huhu..

When it comes to relationship topic, yah.. I'm the worst person to rely on. Since I don't have record to be proud on serious relationship, so I put myself in the list of "don't refer to her if you have love issue". Hmmm.. sound dramatic. I'm also in a drama right now! only He knows what is happening in my life lately.

I truly damnly what to know the truth, the storyline.. but the time is blocking my way. Huh.. can i be so patient to wait until mid or end of November to hear the truth story? urghh.. I don't think I'm a succesor to this. But, to force he/she to open their mouth right now seems like i don't give a damn on the quote "Assobru minal iman".. hmmmmm.. sigh in a very longggggg wayyy..

What should i do? Trying to riki-riki by myself, don't give me a big smile and answers. Oh Allah.. help me.. I need to know, really need to knowwww.. 

Gudnite.

Short and Decision!

Kegatalan jari jemari dah menular, akibat kebosanan tahap melampau. Nak tengok movie online at cerita-melayu.com, sangkut-sangkut plak, padahal dah pakai Unifi dah ni, adakah service Unifi dah tak berapa nak sangat? huhu.. apa pun, menjadi sebab lah men-direct diri ke ruang ini.

Assalamualaikum!

Maaf, tadi tu mukadimah tak seberapa je.. salam  pun baru nak bagi, jangan lupa menjawap dalam hati ya. Kerana menjawap salam itu wajip, memberi nya adalah sunat. InsyaALLAH. So, apa khabar agaknya kawan-kawan blogger lately ni ya, harap semua org pun sehat di bawah naugan kasih sayang Allah taala. Amin...

Ha amacam? boleh tak gaya tu saya nak transform dalam upcoming writing? ekeke.. ada gaya seorang pengajar tak? ingat nak mulakan gaya baru yang bersesuaian, supaya takde lah menulis tak keruan je manjang. Tapi buah fikiran yang sama, adakah patut utk menutup blog ini, delete dan kuburkan atau bukak blog baru? mulakan dimensi baru? ahh.. kalau difikir-fikirkan sayang, sebab banyak kenangan, nak bukak baru pun jenuh pula rasa nya nak start all over again. Ke macam mana eh? hmmm..

Takde ape sangat nak tulis kot kali ni, orang baca pun dah jemu kot, asek nya bila ada post baru, topik samaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa je.. zzzzzzz.. dah tu nak wat cemane, sampai ke harini takde sape nak komen, uwaaaaa.. so takde kata putus atau semangat. (alasan!)

Oklah.. rasanya muktamad! nak privatekan blog lama ni and nak start blog yang lebih berfaedah lepas ni. InsyaALLAH. stay tune! :)

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil-Adha..
jangan lupa puasa Hari Arafah yang banyak fadhilat nya esok ya.. :)

Wassalam.

Sekejap!

Hello!

Hehe.. lama mmg lama la kan tak update ape-ape post. Tak cukup jari dah sekarang sejak dah start Technical Training ni. Bluekkk.. sebenarnye bukan lah takde masa tapi takde daya usaha je, malas nak bukak laptop dah sebab nak connect internet kusss semangat kesabaran nya. So, jadi lah macam ni..

Since semalam sakit perut, tak berape sedap asek terkentur2 je.. kang jap lagi ada pelaburan lah ni lagi malam ni, sejam sekali kena bangun.. huuu.. salah makan apa ya agaknya? I wonder.. adekah tomyam 2 hari yg disimpan tu yang menyebabkan simptom ni, atau sebab makan kenduri? hoh..

Honestly, saya memang suka kalau kena CB (diarrhoea) ni, sebab perut terasa bersihhh je selepas di flush out kan, tapi penangan nak ke toilet tu yang tak tahan. Kalau tak memulas sgt mmg ok, tapi kalau rase menyucuk2, sampai pening2, saya surrender! haha..

Ok, not to drag the story about this.. heh..

Shepa tanye kan haritu kenape tukar domain name, or this blog link name.. hmm.. tak tau la, rasa dah insecure sekarang kalau rakan sekerja tempat kerja baru ni tau and baca blog ni. Ni sebab kes last time one of the senior pegi google my name and save my photo pastu post kat our college group whatsapp.. huuu.. mmg hampeh la kan, malu kot! even he just want to play me around with not funny joke tu. So, since then, I was thinking if he can trace my blog through my photos habis laaaa! This blog is too personal. They don't need to know me from this blog. Nanti banyak tanggapan pulak, since diorang kan academician.. aku ni baru je nak berkecimpong.. so that's why la need to change all the things yg boleh link kan ke blog ni. And sekarang if google my fullname pon dah takde gambo yang leh menampakkan saya. huhu! so dah tak malu dah.. :P

Why this name? MiaHemiza.. alaa.. commercial skekk.. tu je nama yang terpikir haritu..

Oklah! it's time for bed. Esok nak merempit balik Melaka. Melaka? huuu.. seriously I don't like to be there alone. :(

Silly.

I did it again! allow myself to fall in the situation over and over again. That's an action that if I let people to understand also will not forgive me. *sigh*

I always get myself drowning in the no reason of happiness until forgetting what the purpose. Easily get enjoy on what is happening and not consider the future. Until at one point that I don't want the end, makes me truly frustrated. Make the feeling become so hurt is my expertise.

Feeling guilty whenever the frustrated comes at the end. When the result is not what I'm expecting. I'm totally in mess.

Liking the opposite gender is the behaviour that I can't resist as a normal people. Hey, tell me who is not attracted to your opposite gender? Then your are not normal. haha. sorry. 

But I have this problem when I truly like someone. The assumption that he/they also like me in return, is a big mistake that I have done... then feels frustrated when being ignored by him. Funny but yet that's the silly me. hmmmm.

I like someone currently. But afraid to confronts that truly feeling that I abonden now. When he whatsapp (chat) with me first I will be so happy and the sadness of being ignored for one day will be totally lost in the jungle. Weird right?! I hate myself for the stupid silly reaction. Suppose I feel dissapointed why he haven't whatsapp me like he used to do everyday, but on the next day when he appear back, all of sudden I can simply forgive him and talk naturally. 

Why???!!!

hate! hate! hate!

I know that's not your fault to not whatsapp me first. And not your fault at all for my dissapointment and sadness. But it's me. Letting myself assume that you like me too is my biggest mistake. You should know what I feel but I'm ashame to reveal all. 

I'm scared. Scare with the truth. I think a lot. My bestfriend also said the same. Think a lot and assume even bigger. At first I want to be your friend. And at the same time if we have together, I want to marry you. Yah, that's the purest on what's my plan. haha. A girl with a mission. Not a man with a mission. 

I want a serious relationship, but I afraid the history will rotate once again. That's keep my leg to stagnant in the same place but the will is there. How suppose I can let you know? How? How?

If women can confess without feels hesitate, the world maybe easier for is. haha. But I still hold the power of confession is in man's hand. hoh! I'm a deadmeat.

 Hello.. I like you.. would you like me too?

-_-"

Bottleneck Issue

Well, maybe this is the right thing to do. Change the domain name, change the profile name. Maybe will let only those my close friends to know about this, so that they still can catch up what is going to happen and on.

For sure, I don't really feel comfortable to expose anymore who I am, haha. Maybe because of changing the occupation makes me feel like this. Entah. Let the thing happen like this for a while, until further notice of feeling.

Hmmm..

Many things happen lately. As usual, I have nowhere to turn to, so here is the space. Maybe.. ohhh... why so many maybe??? huuuu... my life is stucked with this maybe maybe. I don't like it honestly!!! The unsure things are not promising. Really. But what else I have? The plan only we can manage, but not the actual situation.

>,<, feel like want to cry. I frequently cry lately. Yah.. too scared with life. Huu, that's not suppose to be afraid off, but yah.. feels too little right now, I'm scared :(

After a deep broken heart last time, I think I find another guy. But, I'm too scared to confess to him. Shall I confess to those who has no signal that "I like you too"...? huu, and he works at the same place as me. That's why I don't think this is a right action to do. I can't confess, it will ruins my future life, it will ruins the relationship. What should I do?

oh God.. I'm looking for your help, please..
I just don't know if he is the best for me,
if he is my faith, is we have faith together..

What shall I do? >.<

Second Week in Melaka

Last punya post pasal panic attack.. meracau tak tentu pasal macam mana nak pack barang untuk pegi training 6 bulan kan, so.. here I'm.. dah seminggu nak masuk second week pun kat Melaka ni. Basically, akhirnya dalam keadaan terdesak dan malas nak fikir panjang, akhirnya berjaya juga la pack barang untuk bawa ke sini. Tapi case aku OK lagi sebab rumah dekat, sejam je ulang alik Melaka-Bangi, so apadehal kalau barang tinggal kan? boleh balik Bangi anytime. Tapi, terima lah cost nya..

Tol dari Bangi ke Melaka RM13.90 which is half than tol ke Kuantan, tapi jarak dari Bangi-Kuantan agak reasonable la untuk kadar tol yang macam tu, lebih kurang RM25.90 gitu lah tapi berbaloi la untuk 3 jam punya journey, ini untuk sejam je tapi mahai nak mampuih.. agak terasa melampau nya, so baru lah sekarang aku rasa tol itu mahal.. huwaaaa.. kalau tiap-tiap minggu nak balik, masak jugak lah.. pergi-balik dah nak dekat RM30, kali 4.. fuhhh.. tapi takpelah, untuk 6 bulan je, nanti dah balik Kuantan tak boleh pulak nak selalu balik.

So.. redhaaa je la..

Sebenarnya dah tak tahu nak buat apa, technician ni tengah repair bilik air hotel ni haaa.. haiyoo.. bosan, aku dah ngantuk, tapi ape kan daya, takkan nak bantai tido je.. tak pasal2 ada yang ternoda esok pagi bangun kanggg.. hahaha.. No! No! No!

Sorry la kalau post agak sampah lately. Bosan tahap gaban. Padahal banyak perkara ilmiah yang nak dikongsi, tapi kemalasan yang nyata menyebabkan gue kemalasan nak cerita beia-ria. Kalau cerita-cerita leisure macam ni tak perlu skill yang tinggi kan. Haha. So, terima je lahhh..

Teringin jugak nak tulis sesuatu yang memanfaat. Siap dah berangan nak tulis buku sendiri. Fuhh.. tak boleh blah kan? Tapi itu lah kenyataan nya. Minat jugak bidang penulisan ni tapi tak terkuat lagi daya nya, so masih di tahap ni je la. Sabo.. Sabo.. Semoga tuhan beri aku peluang kearah tu.. doakan aku kawan-kawan.

Bila dah masuk bidang education ni, macam2 peluang kau boleh cuba dan selami. Memang serius mencabar minda dan minat. Syukur lah memang bidang ni la aku minat sejak kecik, haha.. org kata darah pendidik turun temurun ni memang sikit-sikit agak mengalir jugak kat pewaris. Dalam ramai-ramai adik beradik, takde sape yang mengikut jejak ayah, akhirnya jatuh kat aku sekarang. Well ayah, I will do my best! huhu..

Adeh.. mata dah mengantuk, tapi abg technician ni tak siap-siap jugak lagi. Kesian gak dorang, tp lagi kesian kat diri sendiri ni haaa.. uwaaa.. mengantukkk! bgn awal harini..


okla...

oklaa...

zZzzzZzzzzz....

Panik Attack! Training 6 Bulan..

bila datang panic attack ni mula la tak keruan, padahal panic macam mana nak pack barang utk pegi training 6 bulan je pun.. huwaaa.. it's a big problem to me actually. Macam mana nak declare ini perlu bawa dan itu tak perlu bawa?

Rasa nak angkut the whole isi gerobok tp dah macam melampau pulak, lagipun takde luggage besaq nak isi semua. Kang angkut dengan bakul baju kotor ni, panas pulak bell boy tu menengoknya nanti. haha.

Dush!

Soryyyyy.. tak tahu dah nak share ke-tak-keruan-an saya ni. Nasib lah tempat mengadu asek tutup je, tak nampak cahaya lagi la tu nak dtg dekat. haha. (gelak sarcastic) paham ke? I mean jodoh la tu.. sesat lagi mencari saya.

Sedih sekejap.

Merosot charge positif saya malam ni. Baru sikit pack masuk bag terus takde moooooood. Sebab banyak lagi nak bawakkkk tp space dah takde.. huwa huwa huwa.. kang kalu tinggal, aku malas nak bengang dengan diri sendiri nanti, dan dan time tu jugak nak pakai tp takde, tinggal kat Kuantan. Sudah nya marah diri sendiri bertubi-tubi.

Macam mana?

Share sikit tips mcm mana nak bwk barang utk 6 bulan training di negeri lain. Hey, dalam Malaysia je pun. haha. Macam masalah negrta kan? Iyee!! ni lebih serius dari isu pilihanraya.

Ok. Nak bertenang sampai esok pagi (tido)

Nite!

Life Support Needed!

declare myself with everything that related to a survivor.

Move on? yes. since June, 2012.

I'm cool.. I'm kuat.. I'm strong enough..
another thing I love the most about myself is..
I'm a short-term memory person..
you tell me today, sorry.. tomorrow please repeat it back!

but why ahhh...
about this one I become a perfect memory keeper with a strength of impossible to lost any..
read again, impossible. It's keep playing over and over again.
From open the eyes, until it close.

*sigh*


he will get married really really soon..
7/4/2013.


I'm practically dead.
Now, scientifically need a life support!

Help!

one by one...

in the mean time just don't know whether there are good news or bad news. Why should deep inside is full of tears?

hello.. you should happy for them, just your time is unsure it doesn't mean you could not feel happy..

how if when your time no one will happy for you?

Ask yourself.

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Salam!

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Let's start a healthy life together! :)

Am I too bad? I need a help!

Sometimes people just don't understand what other people has gone through in their life. They have a mouth, then they just can say anything that's annoyed their eyes. Yeah.. they talk.. they say.. they chit chatting.. spread the words until it become bacteria to the this "suddenly" victim.

Heh.. whatelse should we say.. That's not their fault too actually. We also do the same, did the same when we don't know or experience the exact situation. Well, speak is so much easier than being in the same shoes right? *sigh*

I don't know why I'm so sensitive today. Got a comment about myself. I'm too harsh.. like gangster.. someone said. I already heard the word ever thrown to me last time, but this time when it come out from a male friend, my heart feels like a knife is slicing it into pieces.

Haha..

Don't get me wrong. He's married, and he's a good friend of mine. Suppose I take it as a stone to break my negative attitude, but the stone is acting vice versa, break the positive attitude and yeah! I'm touched right now. How else should I do to impress others? I have no idea. -blank-

Urghh.. I hate this sensitive feeling, I'm an empty feelingless heartless as far as I know, but why ahh I feel hurt deep inside here. PMS? lols...

I'm sorry friend, I can take your comment actually, just the time is not good I guess. Haha. You are making an excuse oh mizah? keke.. But believe me, I used to hear people comment about me that I'm too fierce and this angry-forever face that I own. Hmmm.. how should I change that? can someone please teach me? >,<

I have some reasons why I cannot be polite for 24-hrs,

1) When I'm in the middle of married men group, is it necessary to be sweet little girl? talk so politely with them? haah..
2) Tired of cross interpretation from men when female so nice, they think we have a feeling towards them and they try to widen the friendship bonding
3) Enough of heartbroken feelings, crying bla bla bla...
4) Traumatize by previous history
5) hmmm.. whatelse?

Haizz.. now I feel that me myself just creating the problem into so dramatic scene! Actually, there's nothing. Just me got a problem to fix it which call..............

face the truth and don't be so ego!

hmmm...

Kata Lawan

Well... haritu bukan main rajin membincangkan hal-hal personal kat sini, tp biasa lah ianya akan berlaku tak kurang dari seminggu je, lepas tu, kelaut semula. MALAS. Bukan apa, bila dah start busy memang tak terkejar Kak Tipah nak update apa-apa kat sini. Bila masa berlenggang punggung memang bukan main rajin, maaf ya dek non.

So, apa nak cerita eh kali ni?

Emmm...

Oh! ok!... got it...

Nak share lah perasaan nya bila dah masuk sektor awam ni, eheks. Padahal Mara bukan lah fully awam, ianya adalah Badan Berkanun. Apa Badan Berkanun tu? (...berpeluh-peluh cari jawapan)

ok.. google sendiri boleh?

sebab saya tidak lah tahu apa perbezaan nya Badan Awam dan Berkanun. Cuma yg saya tahu, kalau Badan Berkanun ni, dia boleh buat decision sendiri kat Pusat masing-masing, walhal Badan Awam, kena ikut HQ (Kementerian masing-masing).. emmm.. kalau salah, tolong saya betul kan boleh? *mata kelip-kelip*.

Before ni adalah jugak experience bekerja dengan sektor swasta. And bila masuk sektor awam, seriously I was toooo culture shocked! erkk.. *bangun dari pengsan*

Kenapa?

Sebab nya;

1) Swasta semestinya ada budaya saing yang sangat tinggi, tengoklah Sunny dan Sangsung nak compete. Kalau lambat sikit, mungkin percentage untuk gulung tikar adalah tersangat tinggi. Maka, budaya ini adalah budaya sihat yang menyihatkan para pekerja untuk tak sibuk melena di Surau atau bersidai di smoking area.

2) Swasta juga menekankan gaya kerja yang sangat efficient dan cepat. Bak cogankata Polis tu apa cepat dan betul? kan? Lebih kurang macam tu lah. Semua kerja mempunyai tempoh masa nya yg tersendiri, kalau dapat siap lebih awal dari target, memang senang-senang boleh meraih pekerja cemerlang atau advance allowance atau bonus yang masyukkkk. Maka, cepat lah di kau...

3) Gaya kerja yang Independent juga menjadi rencah (ko ingat masak je ke?) harian di company-company swasta. Serious. Lagi kau independent, lagi itu kerja kau lagi senang. Sebab boleh meng-apply-kan Ownership yang tinggi. Senang. Dan memang byk pengalaman dan knowledge yang kau boleh cedok dlm masa yang sangat singkat.

ok.. sudah dulu bab sektow swasta. Now, let's talk about awam.

Ahh.. malas aku nak taip panjang-panjang. Korang "counter" kan saja lah statement di atas.
That's all.

[>,<]

Feeling so down. Don't know why...

Restu

Bila dah cuti beberapa hari and siap balik ke-el (KL), mula mata tak boleh nak tido.. esok kerja.. huwaaaaa! apa lah lagi agak nya tuan pengarah nak suruh buat, takkan nak mengikir lagi, kang dimension lari lagi teruk.. harap2 esok dah ada official schedule for our 9 months training. 9 months babe, if you are pregnant by the day 1 of training, dpt la hasil baby training org kata. hehe. ok enough.

Actually i dont want to talk about work and blabla-boring, but something that really catch my heart to the deepest.

Ini semua salah cerita kat tv1 tadi. TV1? ehee.. terlayan sebab ada Beto Kusyairi. ok sorry, saya peminat dia! I admit. He has the talent, even muka jawa habis (bak kata my housemate), it doesn't matter. Tak perlu jual muka hensem kalau lakonan hamprak kan?

Back to the story, aku tgk Selagi Cinta Berzikir tadi. The stroryline really really reminds me about me, about him. hmmmm... Cerita cinta antara dua darjat, dan cinta yang tak direstui. Its hard and hurt. But I learn something from the story.

What's about me and about him?

Perlu ke saya nak cerita ya? hehe.. I don't think i need la, sebab melibatkan banyak pihak. Just roughly the storyline really relates dgn my experience. Cuma nya aku takde lah sampai kahwin lari ke Golok. hehe. and aku takde lah sekuat Nazira and Fazli dalam cerita tu. Syukur alhamdulillah, still waras lagi dan tak sedegil mcm diorang.

The story shows the reality of consequences when you disobey or derhaka dgn ibu bapa sendiri hanya kerana Cinta. Memang kalau dah cinta, semua nya sanggup kau redah. But remember, Allah will punish you anytime. If not now, insyaALLAH in the hereafter. Cuma nya kalau kau bertaubat, back to Him how the situation.

Disebabkan ikutkan hati dan tak peduli kata mak ayah, kahwin pun takde restu, cerita tu tunjuk betapa susah nya hidup walau kau dpt cinta sejati tu. Adakah ia berbaloi? Ape yg aku faham, all the pain are the punishment for diri sendiri sebenarnya. Pengajaran from cerita tu memang sgt dlm makna nye.. and when it relates back to my story, thats what actually I'm doing and thinking is the best for semua orang.

Yeap, melepaskan cinta tak restu is such a huge pain for me. I'm not a coward, tak mempertahankan hati sendiri.. tapi aku tak nak benda2 mcm nk berlaku. Maybe ada org kata or ada reality story yang tak sama dgn pengakhiran cerita Selagi Cinta Berzikir tu.. but then, how many percent will survive with happily ever after? kalau pun survive and family boleh terima, tak mustahil perkara yang sama boleh berlaku pula kat your next generation kan?

Afterall, what goes around, comes around. Dan tuhan Maha Mengetahui, kat mana kau nak menyorok pun pasti the same situation akan berlaku. Thus, biarlah kita mengalah demi sesuatu yang hanya sikit kita korban kan, kasih ibu bapa kat mana lagi kita nak dapat? takkan nak korban kan jugak? maaf, saya tak sanggup.

Lagipun, ada org kata kalau dah jodoh, tak ke mana kan? hahah.. ayat2 cliche.. eh! bukan.. ini ayat penyedap hati je.Well, biar lah.. Alhamdulillah, aku pun dah boleh let go kisah tu dan move on (sampai move ke Kuantan ni! hehe), walaupun setengah meroyan jugak hidup haritu. Kita serahkan saje lah kepada Yang Maha Mengetahui dan Mengasihani, kita cuma merancang, Dia juga lah yan menentukan.

Waallahua'lam.

Menukar Kerja - 2013

Ini selalu nya normal bila saye terbaca other people's blog, mood to write something will come out from nowhere. Haha. And guess who's blog I was reading for past half an hour? It's Maria Elena's blog, peliks.blogspot.com. Well, enough say.. she is trending now! I know her from the beginning of blogging era which were from past several years back. Masa tu, aku pon sibuk ber-blogging. Tapi tak sekental dia, so jangan harap la nak setanding kan. hihi. Honestly, my true feeling said that she has her own style, tak plastik or stereotype kind of girl. Maybe sbb tu dia menjadi dia sekarang ni kan. Well, congrates (pedulik la congratz ke congrates ke, lols) for your wedding, it is so nice sister!

Here I come... write something and wishing that this time post will be posted successfully. Honestly, aku dah tulis about 2 to 3 posts, but not successfully being posted. Semua jadi draft akibat bila second paragraph je jadi hamprak.. takde idea.. sedih kan.. tapi bila baca other's writing, mula la mencurah-curah words nak keluar dgn kelam kabut nya!

Haha. Itu perkara biase saya sebagai seorang Hamizah. (peace)

Lack of reading mungkin jugak menyumbang kepada ketandusan skills menulis. haha.. since when tulis blog memerlukan skills? perlu ke? I don't think so, sbb tulis blog is sooooooo spontaneous, kalau blog yang personal la, kalau yang ke arah ilmiah bagai-bagai tu, yeap! harus la ada kan. So, don't scope your mind into that way, let's make this openly and rilekss...

So guys... here is my story yang memang dah lama nak share... :)

Finally, after some years of nagging myself bila nak tukar kerja.. bila nak tukar kerja.. alhamdulillah! with all the prayers, efforts and 'hardwork', finally I got a chance to change my work, and with 360 degree of complete rotation I also change my profession, from an Engineer to Lecturer now! well... still can't believe it is happening... how it's happened?

I was an Engineer, to specific, a Design Engineer. ehee.. I'm missing the job title and the job scope too.. seriously. But life must go on (cliche).. when the feeling of regrets or unease in my heart, I will tenang kan dgn this quote.. "You choose.. do it well.." thanks to my Physics Lecturer back on my matriculation time, dia yang sebut this quote which quoted from somebody, sorry can't remember, the sentence pun tak complete actually, but I simplified itu je lah...

I hold the sentence.. yah.. dulu masa accept keje as Engineer pun, I hold the sentence walaupun after 2 months kerja, I hate the job sooooo damnnnn much! haha... but Alhamdulillah, I still winning the advance allowance for quite long time, a year kot... Advance allowance is for those yang excellent and with the recommendation from bosses. ihiks! so, what I mean is walaupun aku tak suka kerja-kerja aku masa kat company lama dulu, tp aku manage to do it well, because I hold the sentence, " You choose.. do it well.." kau yang pilih the job dulu, bukan ada sape-sape yang paksa, so please buat yang terbaik walau apa keadaan pun. Believe me it can lessen your stress towards your hated jobs. hehe. (tapi sometimes, tak sampai gak niat murni aku nak buat yang terbaik, kantoi di mana-mana tu perkara biasa kan? :p)

Then why I quit while I can do so best?

Oh! still remember I said that from 2nd months of working day I started to hate the job? ehee.. yah, I also experienced the dillema, the stress, the bla-bla unhappy story through out my day at previous company, for me, if kita tak suka, just don't susah kan org lain, you find others... for me lagi.. kalau memang tak boleh blah dgn kerja yang kita tgh buat, just buat jugak sebaik mungkin but at the same time, pergi cari apa yang kita nak.. just don't sit there and nag at yourself. Boleh tua mcm tu je oi.. I nagged to myself too actually, and sigh and tired of what is happening to myself jugak dulu.. haha.. sebab tak dapat apa yang aku nak lagi masa tu, aku takde lah bagus sgt sampai terima seadaanya semua perkara, maki diri sendiri sebab terima job yang aku tak suka tu memang byk kali! tp nak buat macam mana? saya yang at the beginning TERIMA kerja tu, so just try your best je la kan...

Berkat doa mak ayah, usaha.. Alhamdulillah.. dapat juga tukar kerja in this really fine year 2013! memang tak percaya, tp ini lah apa yang saya nak for so many years, huhu. Being a Lecturer? hehe.. walaupun aku mencik kerja lama, tp ada jugak suka-sayang-rindu nya, jadi Engineer babe, sape tak rase gempak kan? haha. (tp trust me, aku engineer hamprakk.. sbb I was not direct related dgn engineering, byk documentation saje.. see.. can imagine my stressfulness? haha). Tapi buat apa title tp kalau kau tak happy kan? so pilih lah apa yang kau suka dan lebihkan usaha terhadapnya.

Memang nak tukar kerja tak senang kan kan kan? (kan kepada yang mencuba2 tp tak dpt2) well, aku pun mcm you olls gak, kalau tak takkan aku amek sampai 2 year and half stucked in the job yang aku tak suka kan, huhu.. and ini lah yang dinamakan rezki, tuhan yang tetapkan, kun fayakun... kita hamba banyak kan berdoa dan bergantung harap lah pada Dia yang dalam masa yang sama, berusaha! bkn sit there and nagging. NO.. and no ok...

So I'm a Lecturer now?

Ok nak muntah, sbb masih belum layak hokeii nak dipanggil itu. huhu. Seriously, bila masuk dunia academic semua ni, aku teramat lahh kecik mcm kuman merasakan diri ini. I have nothing. Zero. I wasn't an excellent graduate, not a good student and not an ulat buku, bukan! huhu. Then, masa my first day registered at the College, aku mcm hoi.. betul ke ni? how you can teach others while you yourself is zero? huu.. scared to death. (bunyi cengkerikk)

hmmmmm... honestly, takut gila wei.. kalau ada bebudak dtg tanya Algebra ke kang, apa aku nak jawap? hah! kang tanya composition of stainless steel? how to make mould? apa tu metallic material? (I'm shrinking...) >,<

Haha..again thanks to my physic's lecturer who gave the quote.. so I will try to do my best! because I choose the job, yah! I remind myself every morning just to be motivated. Iyeahhh.. kita semua boleh jadi apa pun, sebab kita yang pilih.. and behind the scene pun, everything happen must be a reason kan? so, enjoy yourself and don't be so stress when it comes to your job. Kerja-kerja ni duniawi je.. eh.. ok tak, kerja is our amanah, kita buat betul, kita untung dunia dan akhirat.

Waallahua'lam.