Mak Usu saya sakit...

...get well soon Maksu!

my relatives from my mother side, 

beloved Mak Usu is at the right side (with pinky shining tudung) cute kan? :). 

(event : Nisah's Wedding)

Milestone : From Hospital Selayang, then kena admit Hospital KKB (if I'm not mistaken), then Hospital Kg. Baru, and now, Hospital Serdang.

Condition : nampak macam makin good, badan pun dah makin kurus, tp mak usu still mak usu, ada je nak digelakkan, she is funny! haih, sakit-sakit pun boleh buat lawak, tak tahan!. But then, semalam dia mengadu dia sakit, sakit sangat, waaa.. aku tahan je, takkan nak menangis depan dia, lagi la dia sedih.. dia tak tahan doktor cucuk-cucuk sebab tak jumpa salur darah, cucuk kat tengkok! OMG!!.. aku pun tak tahan tengok masa dia tunjuk.. 

I was crying later on bila nak walk away from the Hospital. T_T

Be strong ok Mak Usu!

Doakan Mak Usu saya ok. thanks.

sejak tu aku mula jaga makan!

takot.

.

bangkit dan terus berlari, jangan merangkak lagi...

...errr..

Bila dah habis belajar dan dah kerja, siaplah nak berhadapan dengan satu topik yang tak boleh nak escape.  Kalau yang dah ada further plan of cause la syok bercerita, Aku? apa plan yang aku nak gebang kan sekali. I have nothing to say, seriously.. eh no! I'm not serious. Aku ada plan berjela aku juga. Cuma nya aku sendiri kurang pasti adakah topik future plan aku selari dengan mereka, sebab nya hot topic kawan-kawan aku sekarang is "kahwin"  -_-"

Lately aku banyak berkurung. Mak ajak pergi mana-mana pun aku tak nak. Rela tak makan duduk rumah dari ikut ke kenduri kahwin. Tak tau kenapa anti sangat dengan Wedding. Erkk.. bukan sebab aku envy dengan orang yang kahwin tu. Tapi aku tak ready nak berdepan dengan golongan dewasa serta auntie-auntie yang terlebih caring apabila soal kahwin diajukan, "ermm.. bila lagi.." sambil muka penuh harapan yang jawapan aku seperti ini "soon auntie.. soon..".. Maka, baik aku duduk rumah bertenang dari mengelatkan muka harapan mereka.

Seriously, aku masih selesa hidup begini. Buat apa saja dengan peraturan sendiri, nak bangun lambat, malas kemas bilik, balik kerja tak menentu, hari minggu bersosial dan apa saja yang boleh dilakukan bebas oleh seorang yang belum ada ikatan. Dalam usia seperti aku (maksud aku, usia seswai kawin.. hoho), soal berumah-tangga belum ada dalam perancangan dan aku belum bersedia. Banyak lagi yang perlu aku prepare dan mungkin kerana tiada siapa lagi mahu merancang bersama, maka.. soal seperti ini jatuh di tangga akhir. Ehh.. tapi tetap ada! sape yang tak nak kahwin kan? (emoticon gatal)

Walau apa pun, aku masih tetap percaya, manusia hidup bukan untuk bersendirian. Mereka perlukan sekalian alam kerana sekalian alam juga memerlukan mereka. Hidup la seorang dalam gua, tak lama, mungkin esok keluar la headline suratkhabar ada orang bandar duduk dlm gua sehari bunuh diri akibat tekanan kesunyian  yang maha dasyat. Ngee.. aku kot tu. MEREPEK!

Bagi aku.. beza kalau kau duduk berkurung sendirian dan keluar beramah tamah dengan sekeliling tak kira keluarga, rakan-rakan, mahupun cuma duduk di taman sambil usha ciptaan tuhan.. pulangan nya memang sangat berbeza. Maka nya, bila anda terasa keseorangan dan dunia seperti tidak adil lagi bagi anda, KELUAR LAH. Jangan duduk mengenang nasib atas katil sambil peluk segala teddy bear di atas katil. Langsung tak ada benefit. Paling koman yang kau dapat cuma lah, tekanan perasaan dan mungkin hypertension blood pressure naik yang tidak berpangkal. Penyakit yang kau create sendiri, jangan salah kan sesiapa.

Nasib individu itu berbeza. Ada yang kurang baik, ada yang lebih kurang saja. Kalau terasa seperti aku lah paling malang dalam dunia, fikir lah ada lagi yang lebih malang dari anda. Umpama nya seperti ini, 

"kalau naik Mercedes, pandang lah orang yang naik Saga BLM, kalau naik Saga BLM, pandang lah orang yang naik basikal, kalau naik basikal, pandang lah orang yang jalan kaki.. orang jalan kaki? pandang lah pada yang telah jalan..(mati)" 

So, sebab tu lah aku kata, keluar. Bila kita jumpa orang lain, banyak input boleh membantu meng-counter kesedihan korang tu. Mungkin kau hilang seseorang, atau mungkin kau masih sendirian (single) tapi kemudian bila minda kau dah terbuka luas dengan hanya berjumpa dan bersembang dengan orang lain tentang perancangan masa hadapan, soal kehidupan, dan apa-apa yang serius (ermm, mungkin hal-hal yang related dgn kahwin kena avoid la dulu, hahaha), fokus kau boleh beralih ke tempat lain. Dan mungkin lebih baik, siapa tahu? :)

harini sebulan tanpa dia lagi.

Thanks for the memory.

Gud Luck untuk kamu.

.

Ter-hantuk lalu Ter-nganga...

...this is how I know, how high is the earth, and how deep is the hurt.

*Perempuan!! Sila jangan jadi bodoh kerana Lelaki.
…
.

Sunday was a Sunny-day!

...even it was hot, I still can sleep all day long. ahaks!

Hye! It has been a while since my last sharing song with you (Ya! you)!. err.. when was the last? err.. err.. fine! I couldn't recall my memory, but it's ok, now we start a new sharing-sharing back again. Actually this song was shared by my friend, Nono and Jad. They gave me when I was really felt gloomy on that day. And yahh! this song really works to create a smile back on my face. Thanks dear!

Sunny Day

written by Joy Williams & Tim Myers

I open my eyes

I look to the sky

it's a sunny day

the world is looking so bright

what a surprise

it's a sunny day

oh oh oh oh oh ohooo...

Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme what I want

I want sunshine, sunshine

Gimme Gimme Gimme cuz it's been so long

I want sunshine, sunshine

I'm feeling so free

like a summer breeze

It must be magic

I forget all my plans

put my toes in the sand

I just can't help it

oh oh ooh oh ohhh

Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme what I want

I want sunshine, sunshine

Gimme Gimme Gimme cuz it's been so long

I want sunshine, sunshine

we're two of a kind

like blue birds singing out a simple tune

if you don't mind

it's the perfect kind of day to fall in love

with you

Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme what I want

I want sunshine, sunshine

Gimme Gimme Gimme cuz it's been so long

I want sunshine, sunshine

Cute kan?!!

.

Ber-kuat-lah-!

Manusia memang mudah lupa. Kita lupa kalau ada kegembiraan, mesti ada kesedihan menyusul. Kita lupa bila ada senang, mesti ada susah bakal menduga. Kita lupa masa hadapan, kita focus pada masa sekarang. Bila dah terhantuk, baru nak ternada. Dan begitu lah seterusnya.

Gembira pasangan nya Sedih. Mana ada Gembira pasangan nya gembiraaa je manjang. Tak cool la kan. Kalau pasangan sama perangai memang tak thrill kan, dia buat tu, kita buat tu jugak.. lama-lama sendiri pon boleh jadi bosan. Maka nya, kena la ada kontra nya. Baru la sepadan, huh? Apa kau cakap ni Mizah?

Ok la.. tak payah nak elaborate kaw-kaw, senang citer, bila kita gembira, ingat lah gembira tu tak akan selama-lama nya, mesti ada dugaan. Takkan asyik nak ketawa berdekah-dekah kan? Kang urat pipi stuck tak boleh gerak akibat ketawa yang melampau, tak ke naya? Haa.. then, masuk hospital sebab sakit pipi.. see.. kat situ dah terjadi nya kesedihan. Ye la, masuk hospital tu fun ke?

Maka nya, beringat lah. Hari ini anda gembira. Dibuai mimpi-mimpi indah. Janji-janji manis ditabur-tabur sampai anda lupa nak beza kan, ini janji kah, atau cakap-cakap kosong? Omong-omongan bak kata orang Indonesia. Hati orang kita tak boleh nak scan. Keikhlasan orang tak boleh diukur walau se-inchi. Se-sentimeter pon jangan harap.

Yang penting diri kita sendiri. Biarlah orang tak ikhlas, jangan kau pulak sendiri tak ikhlas. Macam kata pepatah mana yang aku lupa, buat baik dibalas baik, buat jahat, padan muka sendiri. Kira-kira begitu lah norma kehidupan. Tapi jangan marah pulak bila kita dah buat baik, tapi tetap dibalas jahat. Namun! (eh tiba-tiba) kalau dah lama-lama, pasti anda akan lihat sendiri keajaiban nya kalau selalu membuat kebaikan. Kalau tak di dunia, nanti di akhirat tersenyum lah kamu. Kan itu lagi bahagia. Oh! betapa I wish I can wait for that moment, tapi aku biasanya tamak, nak senyum lebar di dunia mahupun di akhirat. (tamak macam ni rugi ke eh? masok geng anjing dengan bayang-banyang jugak ke? urghh!) 

Oho! Kenapa mesti aku cakap-cakap pasal gembira, sedih, baik, jahat.. bla.. bla.. bla.. Lately, is my tough week, hari-hari muram, suram tapi honestly aku tak pandai tunjuk kesedihan. Kat office aku gelak macam biasa. Semua nampak normal, tapi dalam? Oh! Aku aje lah yang tahu, korang tahu apa kan?

Mungkin ini ujian. Tuhan dah tetap kan, Hamizah! Harini (minggu-minggu dulu) kau gembira-lah, enjoy-enjoy, bergembira-lah. Esok (minggu-minggu ini) kau bersedih-lah. Then, apa aku boleh cakap? Kena lah terima takdir-Nya. Mungkin juga ini ujian untuk pelupa macam aku. Sebab aku sendiri lupa, di mana ada kegembiraan, di situ juga boleh terbit kesedihan. Aku lupa! Totally. That's why I'm not prepared myself for this situation. Nah! Hamik kau! Rasain. So sekarang, memang salah sendiri kenapa jadi manusia pelupa. Deym.

Honestly, this is my pray for what is happening now. Sekarang bila doa dah termakbul, kenapa aku nak sedih sangat? Oh! According to one facebook status (hah! Aku punya fb), "Don't blame the fate when your pray has granted by God.. That's what He called as ungrateful believers.." No! Aku tak nak jadi believer yang tak bersyukur! Mula-mula nampak enteng, ikut kan sangat perasaan sampai satu saat aku tersedar! Ya Allah, ini lah doa yang hari-hari aku mintak (err.. kalau buleh solat la, oho!), then, bila tuhan dah tunjuk-kan kebenarannya, kenapa aku tak boleh nak terima?

"Don't blame the fate when your pray has granted by God.. That's what He called as ungrateful believers.."

Senang sebelum susah.
.

Bila senang datang tak ajak, Bila susah pergi tak suruh.

2010/10/08

TAKEN FROM : http://www.bharian.com.my/bharian/articles/Ramailelakitakberisokonganpesakitbarahkanser/Article

" KUALA LUMPUR: Kajian mendapati 80 peratus lelaki di negara ini kurang memberi sambutan terhadap usaha membantu pesakit kanser payu dara dengan gagal memberikan perhatian dan kasih sayang terhadap pasangan mereka yang menghidap penyakit itu.

Mereka kurang memberikan sokongan moral kepada pasangan menghidap pesakit kanser payu dara yang amat memerlukan sokongan moral, terutama ketika menjalani rawatan seperti radioterapi dan kimoterapi.

Menteri Pembangunan, Wanita, Keluarga dan Masyarakat, Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, berkata kajian Majlis Kebangsaan Pertubuhan-Pertubuhan Wanita Malaysia (NCWO) itu juga mendapati 65 peratus wanita enggan menjalani pemeriksaan awal kanser payu dara kerana takut diabaikan atau diceraikan pasangan mereka.

"Sehingga kini hampir 1.2 juta wanita di seluruh dunia dikesan menghidap kanser. Justeru, ia bukan isu wanita saja, tetapi isu keluarga dan pasangan. Apabila wanita dikesan mendapat kanser, mereka memerlukan sokongan suami dan keluarga," katanya selepas melancarkan Program Mencare Corporation Partner, di sini, semalam. "

 

Komen : Biase lah, bila cantik, sehat, tgh vogue, laki mana tak suka or sayang. Bila dah jatuh ditimpa tangga, bila dah sakit then tuttt tu tak cantik lagi, cari lain la, buat apa nak simpan lagi. Kalau yang tak sakit, tp tak cantik pun belum tentu ada laki yang nak.

Kecantikan memang option No.1 bagi mereka. Perempuan tu malas ke, pengotor ke, kurang ajaran ke, itu option nombor seterusnya, takpe, pejam mata. Maybe mata dah dikaburi sampai tak pandai menilai mana kaca mahupun permata. Yang penting cantik, vogue! Tak lah malu nak berdepan dengan orang ramai.

Norma kehidupan. Hmmm… Lelaki, anda setuju?

Hopefully can meet the most honest man that can accept who I am. Susah dan senang bersama. Cewah! =)

Women! Please take care of yourself!

.

Snippets about my Convocation.. hee..

A month before Convocation

- Oh! never ever remember the exact date. Since no concern because my damn tailor has destroyed my supposedly convocation dress. A bit frustrated, unbelievable price but the result really can killed my excitement. The fabric was a present from my sister-in law. Down.

2 weeks before Convocation

- Suddenly realized that I haven't prepared the tracer study which all graduates need to complete it. If not, no robe can be taken. It was survey about our performance, future and opinion. The questions are a good sleeping pills. Sorry, I have to answer all average since I was doing it in my office, so need high-speed to avoid lecture from my superior.

1 week before Convocation

- Still no feeling. My best-friend keep telling me she was really excited, but me? oh.. ok.. No dress, so no excitement at all. Nice dress really gives a big impact to the mood, . Last time when my good-friend, Shepha had an headache on choosing a best dress for her convocation, I just didn't get it, now I realize the significant of having a nice dress. That's so true.

3 days before Convocation

- It was my pay-check day! After calculating the budget plus my excess anxiety on importance to have a new dress so I decided to hunt for a new dress and forget about my previous ugly dress which currently not in the convocation dress list. But that day, I was too busy with work so postponed until tomorrow.

2 days before Convocation

- Early morning, I planned to have a hunting at Shah Alam. Oh! what a crazy idea. Since my beloved sister also need a new dress, so I decide to go with her. But later, late evening I felt really lazy to join the traffic jammed. My plan still go on but the place alternate to the famous mall in Bangi, it is Warta!. Like a weird crazy lady, I go and check every single shop and finally, I found the right one. With one glance, I knew this is the best. I went to the fitting room and had a video-call with my mum. Since, she is really particular with my choice so I need a green-light of course. She said OK, and I paid for it. 

1 day before Convocation

- I took second-half off for spending my time with all my good-friends. That day was really blissful and I smiled up to my ears and haven't concentrated on any of my job. Thank God no urgent matter came-up in the morning. After Zohor, I was rushing to Gombak, my almost bitter-sweet memory there. What I know is I must meet my besties and enjoy this limited time, but what I don't know is, I left-out my wallet at home. A-ha.. again, thank God there was no road block anywhere.

The Convocation Day

- The night before I can't really sleep. Some of my friends text me and said how excited they are. They can't sleep, so do I!! Only about 2 am in the morning, I sleep.. but sharp 5 am my eyes open widely like I haven't slept that night. Since I planned to put some make-up (hahaha), so I need to get ready early. After Subuh, my family and I were heading to IIUM. The journey was really smooth and alhamdulillah we reached there safely.

1 hour before the Ceremony

- The first person whom I met was my so-called cousin. Haihh. Later, I met Husna at the parking but unfortunately we didn't take any photo together, oh with my so-called cousin also no photo, maybe I was a bit afraid with his mother, so I acted like a well-behave lady. Then, I went to the hall to find my parents and sister. Seriously, that moment was a very meaningful to me. Got a smile from my father and a kiss from my mother were something really touched my small heart.

Half and hour before the Ceremony

- It was the time where we were gathered at the right door before we take oue seat. That time, all my friends can't stop their mouth since many catch up need to update. Haha. We took some picture, but unfortunately only camera phone can snap the memory. Everybody was really excited,  they smiled, they laughed and perhaps their inside felt like butterfly in the stomach. Seriously, the committee members cannot control us since we moved here and there to meet and hug each other. However, not all we can met.

During the Ceremony

- We have to seat according to our CGPA, ahaks, trust me it was not nice. The VVIP arrived a bit late but still the ceremony ended on time. There were 600++ graduands but I feel the time flies really fast. During my turn to take the scroll, suddenly the Sultan (Sultan of Pahang) asked me, "ini Engineering ape yeh?" oh okk.. I got a chance to talk with him, that's an honored to me. Many funny incident happened on the stage, but I respect him for acting like a normal people, no serious protocol that concerned him. 

10 minutes before the Ceremony end

- Everybody seems like cannot stay on their chairs anymore. Chit-chat here and there. And the hall already full with a happy voice. After the Sultan announced the closing, I knew that was just the beginning of my life. A journey to an adult world. No more mummy and daddy's little girl. Oh! my eyes suddenly feel like a reservoir.

End of the Ceremony

- to be continued.

* see.. I was smiled up to ears -_-" *

Life isn't beautiful like you always hope.

But remember, by hoping there's always 

a way for beautiful ending.

(Hamizah, 2010)

Second big day. Alhamdulillah.

...Last weekend was my Convocation day! ^_^

thanks for all the wishes and gift! really appreciated. *terharu*








...later I'll update the whole chapter.