Silly.

I did it again! allow myself to fall in the situation over and over again. That's an action that if I let people to understand also will not forgive me. *sigh*

I always get myself drowning in the no reason of happiness until forgetting what the purpose. Easily get enjoy on what is happening and not consider the future. Until at one point that I don't want the end, makes me truly frustrated. Make the feeling become so hurt is my expertise.

Feeling guilty whenever the frustrated comes at the end. When the result is not what I'm expecting. I'm totally in mess.

Liking the opposite gender is the behaviour that I can't resist as a normal people. Hey, tell me who is not attracted to your opposite gender? Then your are not normal. haha. sorry. 

But I have this problem when I truly like someone. The assumption that he/they also like me in return, is a big mistake that I have done... then feels frustrated when being ignored by him. Funny but yet that's the silly me. hmmmm.

I like someone currently. But afraid to confronts that truly feeling that I abonden now. When he whatsapp (chat) with me first I will be so happy and the sadness of being ignored for one day will be totally lost in the jungle. Weird right?! I hate myself for the stupid silly reaction. Suppose I feel dissapointed why he haven't whatsapp me like he used to do everyday, but on the next day when he appear back, all of sudden I can simply forgive him and talk naturally. 

Why???!!!

hate! hate! hate!

I know that's not your fault to not whatsapp me first. And not your fault at all for my dissapointment and sadness. But it's me. Letting myself assume that you like me too is my biggest mistake. You should know what I feel but I'm ashame to reveal all. 

I'm scared. Scare with the truth. I think a lot. My bestfriend also said the same. Think a lot and assume even bigger. At first I want to be your friend. And at the same time if we have together, I want to marry you. Yah, that's the purest on what's my plan. haha. A girl with a mission. Not a man with a mission. 

I want a serious relationship, but I afraid the history will rotate once again. That's keep my leg to stagnant in the same place but the will is there. How suppose I can let you know? How? How?

If women can confess without feels hesitate, the world maybe easier for is. haha. But I still hold the power of confession is in man's hand. hoh! I'm a deadmeat.

 Hello.. I like you.. would you like me too?

-_-"