Silly.

I did it again! allow myself to fall in the situation over and over again. That's an action that if I let people to understand also will not forgive me. *sigh*

I always get myself drowning in the no reason of happiness until forgetting what the purpose. Easily get enjoy on what is happening and not consider the future. Until at one point that I don't want the end, makes me truly frustrated. Make the feeling become so hurt is my expertise.

Feeling guilty whenever the frustrated comes at the end. When the result is not what I'm expecting. I'm totally in mess.

Liking the opposite gender is the behaviour that I can't resist as a normal people. Hey, tell me who is not attracted to your opposite gender? Then your are not normal. haha. sorry. 

But I have this problem when I truly like someone. The assumption that he/they also like me in return, is a big mistake that I have done... then feels frustrated when being ignored by him. Funny but yet that's the silly me. hmmmm.

I like someone currently. But afraid to confronts that truly feeling that I abonden now. When he whatsapp (chat) with me first I will be so happy and the sadness of being ignored for one day will be totally lost in the jungle. Weird right?! I hate myself for the stupid silly reaction. Suppose I feel dissapointed why he haven't whatsapp me like he used to do everyday, but on the next day when he appear back, all of sudden I can simply forgive him and talk naturally. 

Why???!!!

hate! hate! hate!

I know that's not your fault to not whatsapp me first. And not your fault at all for my dissapointment and sadness. But it's me. Letting myself assume that you like me too is my biggest mistake. You should know what I feel but I'm ashame to reveal all. 

I'm scared. Scare with the truth. I think a lot. My bestfriend also said the same. Think a lot and assume even bigger. At first I want to be your friend. And at the same time if we have together, I want to marry you. Yah, that's the purest on what's my plan. haha. A girl with a mission. Not a man with a mission. 

I want a serious relationship, but I afraid the history will rotate once again. That's keep my leg to stagnant in the same place but the will is there. How suppose I can let you know? How? How?

If women can confess without feels hesitate, the world maybe easier for is. haha. But I still hold the power of confession is in man's hand. hoh! I'm a deadmeat.

 Hello.. I like you.. would you like me too?

-_-"

Bottleneck Issue

Well, maybe this is the right thing to do. Change the domain name, change the profile name. Maybe will let only those my close friends to know about this, so that they still can catch up what is going to happen and on.

For sure, I don't really feel comfortable to expose anymore who I am, haha. Maybe because of changing the occupation makes me feel like this. Entah. Let the thing happen like this for a while, until further notice of feeling.

Hmmm..

Many things happen lately. As usual, I have nowhere to turn to, so here is the space. Maybe.. ohhh... why so many maybe??? huuuu... my life is stucked with this maybe maybe. I don't like it honestly!!! The unsure things are not promising. Really. But what else I have? The plan only we can manage, but not the actual situation.

>,<, feel like want to cry. I frequently cry lately. Yah.. too scared with life. Huu, that's not suppose to be afraid off, but yah.. feels too little right now, I'm scared :(

After a deep broken heart last time, I think I find another guy. But, I'm too scared to confess to him. Shall I confess to those who has no signal that "I like you too"...? huu, and he works at the same place as me. That's why I don't think this is a right action to do. I can't confess, it will ruins my future life, it will ruins the relationship. What should I do?

oh God.. I'm looking for your help, please..
I just don't know if he is the best for me,
if he is my faith, is we have faith together..

What shall I do? >.<

Second Week in Melaka

Last punya post pasal panic attack.. meracau tak tentu pasal macam mana nak pack barang untuk pegi training 6 bulan kan, so.. here I'm.. dah seminggu nak masuk second week pun kat Melaka ni. Basically, akhirnya dalam keadaan terdesak dan malas nak fikir panjang, akhirnya berjaya juga la pack barang untuk bawa ke sini. Tapi case aku OK lagi sebab rumah dekat, sejam je ulang alik Melaka-Bangi, so apadehal kalau barang tinggal kan? boleh balik Bangi anytime. Tapi, terima lah cost nya..

Tol dari Bangi ke Melaka RM13.90 which is half than tol ke Kuantan, tapi jarak dari Bangi-Kuantan agak reasonable la untuk kadar tol yang macam tu, lebih kurang RM25.90 gitu lah tapi berbaloi la untuk 3 jam punya journey, ini untuk sejam je tapi mahai nak mampuih.. agak terasa melampau nya, so baru lah sekarang aku rasa tol itu mahal.. huwaaaa.. kalau tiap-tiap minggu nak balik, masak jugak lah.. pergi-balik dah nak dekat RM30, kali 4.. fuhhh.. tapi takpelah, untuk 6 bulan je, nanti dah balik Kuantan tak boleh pulak nak selalu balik.

So.. redhaaa je la..

Sebenarnya dah tak tahu nak buat apa, technician ni tengah repair bilik air hotel ni haaa.. haiyoo.. bosan, aku dah ngantuk, tapi ape kan daya, takkan nak bantai tido je.. tak pasal2 ada yang ternoda esok pagi bangun kanggg.. hahaha.. No! No! No!

Sorry la kalau post agak sampah lately. Bosan tahap gaban. Padahal banyak perkara ilmiah yang nak dikongsi, tapi kemalasan yang nyata menyebabkan gue kemalasan nak cerita beia-ria. Kalau cerita-cerita leisure macam ni tak perlu skill yang tinggi kan. Haha. So, terima je lahhh..

Teringin jugak nak tulis sesuatu yang memanfaat. Siap dah berangan nak tulis buku sendiri. Fuhh.. tak boleh blah kan? Tapi itu lah kenyataan nya. Minat jugak bidang penulisan ni tapi tak terkuat lagi daya nya, so masih di tahap ni je la. Sabo.. Sabo.. Semoga tuhan beri aku peluang kearah tu.. doakan aku kawan-kawan.

Bila dah masuk bidang education ni, macam2 peluang kau boleh cuba dan selami. Memang serius mencabar minda dan minat. Syukur lah memang bidang ni la aku minat sejak kecik, haha.. org kata darah pendidik turun temurun ni memang sikit-sikit agak mengalir jugak kat pewaris. Dalam ramai-ramai adik beradik, takde sape yang mengikut jejak ayah, akhirnya jatuh kat aku sekarang. Well ayah, I will do my best! huhu..

Adeh.. mata dah mengantuk, tapi abg technician ni tak siap-siap jugak lagi. Kesian gak dorang, tp lagi kesian kat diri sendiri ni haaa.. uwaaa.. mengantukkk! bgn awal harini..


okla...

oklaa...

zZzzzZzzzzz....

Panik Attack! Training 6 Bulan..

bila datang panic attack ni mula la tak keruan, padahal panic macam mana nak pack barang utk pegi training 6 bulan je pun.. huwaaa.. it's a big problem to me actually. Macam mana nak declare ini perlu bawa dan itu tak perlu bawa?

Rasa nak angkut the whole isi gerobok tp dah macam melampau pulak, lagipun takde luggage besaq nak isi semua. Kang angkut dengan bakul baju kotor ni, panas pulak bell boy tu menengoknya nanti. haha.

Dush!

Soryyyyy.. tak tahu dah nak share ke-tak-keruan-an saya ni. Nasib lah tempat mengadu asek tutup je, tak nampak cahaya lagi la tu nak dtg dekat. haha. (gelak sarcastic) paham ke? I mean jodoh la tu.. sesat lagi mencari saya.

Sedih sekejap.

Merosot charge positif saya malam ni. Baru sikit pack masuk bag terus takde moooooood. Sebab banyak lagi nak bawakkkk tp space dah takde.. huwa huwa huwa.. kang kalu tinggal, aku malas nak bengang dengan diri sendiri nanti, dan dan time tu jugak nak pakai tp takde, tinggal kat Kuantan. Sudah nya marah diri sendiri bertubi-tubi.

Macam mana?

Share sikit tips mcm mana nak bwk barang utk 6 bulan training di negeri lain. Hey, dalam Malaysia je pun. haha. Macam masalah negrta kan? Iyee!! ni lebih serius dari isu pilihanraya.

Ok. Nak bertenang sampai esok pagi (tido)

Nite!

Life Support Needed!

declare myself with everything that related to a survivor.

Move on? yes. since June, 2012.

I'm cool.. I'm kuat.. I'm strong enough..
another thing I love the most about myself is..
I'm a short-term memory person..
you tell me today, sorry.. tomorrow please repeat it back!

but why ahhh...
about this one I become a perfect memory keeper with a strength of impossible to lost any..
read again, impossible. It's keep playing over and over again.
From open the eyes, until it close.

*sigh*


he will get married really really soon..
7/4/2013.


I'm practically dead.
Now, scientifically need a life support!

Help!

one by one...

in the mean time just don't know whether there are good news or bad news. Why should deep inside is full of tears?

hello.. you should happy for them, just your time is unsure it doesn't mean you could not feel happy..

how if when your time no one will happy for you?

Ask yourself.

Shaklee Independent Distributor is Here!

Salam!

Just a small post to promote my sister's blog..
She is a SHAKLEE Independent Distributor, you may contact her for FREE advise and GOOD products.
Kindly please distribute this GOOD blog with your friends and family.. :)

Life Starts Here!    (http://zahanis.blogspot.com/)

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